Stuck in the mirror.

Stuck in the mirror.
I've never seen clearer.
I know what you want.
You want to destroy me.
You want to employ me.
You want me to want you.
You feed my ego.
You know how to get me addicted.
And once I am, you neglect me.
You reject me.
You mind fuck me.
You fuck me over and again, until I.
Die inside nice and slow.
You grow inside me now.
I do not know how to breathe without you blowing on me.
Blow baby.
Blow maybe.
Give me life.
Give me a reason.
Give me just one more season, with you.
Because now, I'm stuck in the mirror.
I want to please you.
I want to freeze you.
I want you to never leave me.

EZ - US

She was like, let me mute you.
I'm bored.
I was like, if you want to.
My lord.
So she did.
So she rid.
So she left.
She is still up.
She is talking and gaucking.
And fuck her.
And fuck her lies.
And fuck her.
I was only good to her.
Whilst she lied.
Over and over again.
So get the package and hate me.
And fuck you.
And leave me.
And I don't care anymore.
And I hope you're happy now.
With whoever.
With fucking her or him or whoever.
Hope you're happy.
Hope you get what you always wanted.
I always knew it wasn't me.
You never wanted to, really marry me.
You wanted everyone else, but me.
You see, I'm not blind.
So go find what you were looking for.

Unloveable.

I only want her to.
But she doesn't.
I only hope she will.
But she won't.
I only dream of it.
But she will never.
I only pray to god.
But he is a myth.
He is a fifth.
Of whatever I am.
Because I am nothing now.
She played me.
She was bored.
So she played me.
I believed because I just wanted to trust someone.
I just waned to trust her.
She told me a million times how she was darkness.
She told me a hundred thousand times how she never cares.
But I never listened.
I wanted to believe I was special.
I was different.
I mattered.
I wasn't like the rest.
The rest of those fools.
But instead, I was the most foolish.
She packed her bags in the night.
She left at 1am in the morning.
Thats when I found her things missing.
I want to say I was surprised.
But I always knew she would leave me.
They always do.
They always leave me.
I beg for them to stay in mind.
But they never listen.
They never stay.
They never say why.
They never say they miss me.
They never say they want me back.
They never say please stay forever.
No one has ever said, u'i marry me.
Be with me.
No they never have.
probably because no one wants me like that.
They just want to mute me.
They only want me, when they want something from me.
Then, I can go away now.
So, I do.
I do.
I do.
Yah, I was born like this.
I was the ultimate mistake.
I shouldn't be here.
I'm not here now.
I know why no one can love me.

I need it all.

She passes by and I get so shy.

I don't know why.

You know I try.

When I go home I just want to cry.

All the miles I would fly.

And then die.

So high, when she's around.

When she is near.

I fear she will never be mine.

Everything I am.

Everything I will ever be.

All the things she will never see.

Because the moment she walks by, I get so shy.

I need it all. I really need it all.

I absolutely need it all. 

I need her. 

Stussy Sweater.

She is leaving now.
She is just packing up her things.
I'm just sitting here hoping she will change her mind and not pack my favorite sweater.
She just took my heart and I was hoping to hide whilst she was gone.
But I guess she had to take that too.
She is probably with someone else already.
She was just waiting and giving me more time whilst she figured out how to leave me.
I used to leave everyone.
Now she is leaving me.

Idk.

Idk anymore.
Idk what I'm doing anymore.
I'm so lost.
She loves me.
She hates me.
She wants me.
She can't stand me.
She is cheating on me.
And I'm letting her.
There is a reason why I've become so complacent tho.
It starts with a "k" and ends with an "a".
I'm doing hard time and I can't wait for my community service to finally be over.
How long must I endure this purgatory.
Just a little longer.
Thats what I tell myself when I want to just die and be done with it all.
Dear girl of my dreams.
I love you.
I need you.
I want you.
Come to me now.
Be with me now.
Why won't you.
Come love me like you were always meant to.
Come and love me now.

Picasso Limited Edition.

It was like this dream I had once. That she was with someone else and then we bumped into each other and I was like not the one she left with. Except when I drove away this time, I didn't wake up after. It's crazy how you can have this life with someone but in the end all it is, is some box with stuff in it. 

Our whole relationship somehow condensed in that box, a blanket, pictures, music, a candle, a picasso limited edition and some pareos. Bye u'i. 

I wonder what they did after I left. They probably talked about me endlessly the whole night. How much I suck, how terrible I am, how selfish, how self centered. How about that.